It's 10PM right now. I want to tell someone what is deep inside me right now. Depression. Im so depressed. Very depressed. Have you ever felt this kind of depression that all you do is cry, then comes to the point that all you want to do is die. If you did felt like that then, you will understand what I am going through right now.
My friends would think that I am lying because at school Im a very happy girl hanging out with her friends and she enjoys everything she does. I laugh a lot. A lot. I mean it when I say a lot and you should believe me. But all I feel is empty. Why? Because everyday there is just something that will make me feel stressed and comes to the point that Im hurting so much that I have to fake my laugh, my smile and everything. If its not because of my friends, there's always just arguments in my family about really small things that sometimes doesn't make sense and not even worth the arguments.
I wish I could turn back time and make everything right. Sometimes I wish that I wasn't even born. ya Allah. I screw up a lot of things. I know. I am sorry for not being perfect like other girls, daughter and friend. I love being surrounded by the people I love. But today, all the people I love is not with me. Im probably alone most of the time, when Im at school, even when I come home from school, no one is home. All I have to do is stay home alone. I feel so empty.
Today, the problem is pretty personal, I cant tell you guys the details why I am like this. Im sorry. Thank you for anyone who read this until the end and doesn't hate me and doesn't think Im some kind of attention seeker. Im sorry if this post is kind of disturbing and all. Thank you so much and I love you guys. Bye
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